I tell my children all the time "If you think you can't, you won't. If you think you can, you just might. If you don't try you'll never know."

My younger middle children are going through a tough transition as they are growing into the age were I'm encouraging them to accomplish more difficult tasks on their own. They have gone through much of their short lives having me following them around taking care of all their requests and needs. If the request is something I think they can handle by themselves, I encourage them to try it on their own first. The look of confusion and empowerment I get from them just about makes me laugh every time.

As they stand there looking at me totally befuddled I have to control my laughter while my sly little con artists try to come up with reasons as to why I should continue doing everything for them. Some of my favorites are, "We're just kids and kids aren't suppose know how to do it" or "Show us and we'll do it the next time" and my all time favorite, "You're the daddy and daddies do the work."

The ever popular and most concerning reply to me is the "I can't do it" excuse. That is one excuse that is just not acceptable to me. If they start thinking they can't do something without even trying, they may never try. It will be even worse for them later in life if they think they can dupe someone else to do it for them. I don't want my kids to grow into adults waiting for teachers, employers, government or society to be in control of their destinies because they would rather let others do and think for them. "Never try, never fail" is a comfort level which I prefer my children not to be comfortable with.

The hard part for me (besides patience) is to remind myself that some of these tasks that I take for granted and seem simple may not be as easy for them. I have to take the extra bit of time to explain and show them what to do so hopefully, next time it won't be as challenging for them. More important than execution is the attempt they make whether they accomplish it with assistance or not. I applaud them for the effort. I praise them and give them positive reinforcement for the effort. I have found that they are more eager to try to do more tasks for themselves. What's really cool is when they come running to me so proud of themselves for what they've done for themselves. Even if they are trying to force their head out of their sleeve and have an arm out the head hole, pants are on backwards, shoes are on the wrong feet, dishes in the trash, or finding toys in the refrigerator. Just a quick refresher on how to and we're back on track.

Now that they're doing more for themselves, I have to stay on my toes to make sure I pay attention to notice their accomplishments when they don't bring it to my attention. Even my 1.5 year old is helping his older brothers and sister with simple chores. Although he sometimes creates more work than is needed, he still puffs up with a big smile thinking he's being a big helper.

I'm hoping that instilling a can-do attitude now instead of later will help them (and me) later when they're teenagers and adults. They'll know that that they can do it if they try and if they struggle hopefully they won't give up. I want them to always know they can come to me anytime for assistance but I hope they will aspire to try to accomplish their challenges on their own. I have always been more confident in my abilities because I could do for myself. If other people tried to boost me up I only went further. I wish the same confidence with my own children.