Getting the little ones to help with chores
Submitted by: Doug Warburton

I came home a while back to a messy house. Yes, can you believe it? Well I could, because I had to leave it that way in order to be at work on time. I took a nap for an hour and was appalled at the mess I encountered when I awoke!

There were toys, books, and games and well it continued! I was done. I have had chore charts and they sometimes work, sometimes not. I needed to figure out how to pry this "tick" off of my girls and get them on my program. I looked at all sorts of sights to see who could give me ideas on what to do, how to do it and get two little girls of different ages to comply. Yeah, that was going to work...

Everyone had so many different ideas on how you can accomplish this, I started to get dizzy. There is the reward program, sort of like the frequent flyer program. Clean your room this many times and you can get a free something. I nicked that program because they get everything free anyway; I'm going to pay either way!

Another was the Sticker! All children like stickers, right? Wrong. My 7 year old looked at me as if I had lost my mind and she was right! What was I thinking, giving her stickers? First they weren't the "Cool" stickers. Second was, as she said to me. "Really, I get stickers?" with a somewhat sarcastic look on her face and tone in her voice. I will add that my younger one did think that was pretty cool until someone (no names will be named) told her little sister that stickers were a joke. They wanted something better!

So, I plotted and planned and I couldn't come up with a darn thing. Yet. And then, in my frustration and visible disgust with the entire situation, came a plan. A plan that was brilliant, no cataclysmic! I would reward cleaning and helping with FUN!

I held a family meeting, which isn't too hard, because I am the "Speaker of The House" and everything else. I even took minutes, as back up for the meeting incase other parties said they didn't remember hearing that at the meeting. They are too young to question if that was said or not, but I just wanted my 7 yr old to see that this meeting was documented. She actually seemed impressed. And I can hold her to it! I will say that I did have some question/answer time at the end due to some confusion on particular issues. Some were valid due to lack of information or understanding like exactly where the dirty cloths go and which hamper could be used? To others that just about sent me to the floor laughing! Another Story.

I read off the list of items that need to be done on a daily basis, and yes, heard groans along with the sighs and the heads dropping to the table. But I continued, with a smile on my face. I prepared an itemized list of the things to do around the house on a daily and weekly basis.

Simple things were making your bed and making sure your cloths were in the hamper, specifying the "Your Hamper". Also, books and toys were to be put back into place before bed and also if daddy takes a nap, all toys, books and etc. will be picked up and put away upon the timer going off. Period.

Other things are like meals for the youngest one. It is her duty to make sure the table is set, napkins out, and making the table look nice for meals. No books and so forth. She may also help getting things like dressing and veggies ready for daddy to cut up for the salad. Anything to help basically.

The older gets more. Help daddy by putting the cloths from the hamper into the laundry. She helps to sort the laundry, so if I need to add bleach or hot water, I know that it has been sorted and she does. She also helps with getting meals ready by getting the milk or what ever poured into the glasses and wash the lettuce and veggies.. Another every other day duty is to take the dust buster ( I made it hers ) and hit the carpets for small things and around the cat box. She is also responsible for feeding the cat and making sure she has water.

Both are required to assist daddy after folding their laundry, to put it away in the correct drawers and not just stuff it in there! Also, socks and so forth with each other. Shirts in one, pants in the other and dresses will be hung up on the hangers provided. Also shoes and coats will be placed and or put under and hung up in a neat fashion and not just tossed or flipped in that general direction.

My rewards vary, but are big in their eyes. Swimming is huge and so is going to see a movie or camping, or Pizza night! Or even going out to dinner at a nice place! Getting all dressed up and going out to dinner.  I use that one rarely, it is an Ace up the Sleeve after all,  but when they have done a GREAT job, they deserve it! That one is great! It helps them to feel important and even more special! If the week goes well and everyone does their part, then we will go and have fun. If someone slacks off, well, hotdogs/drum sticks on the grill.

It is amazing to see one convince the other and if that doesn't work, they will step in and help each other. Which, quite frankly, is what I want to accomplish in the first place. To help them learn responsibility and team work. They know the outcome will be something great as long as they can stay on track with what they are doing and get it done, the reward will be worth it.

I don't use an allowance, probably because I never got one. I remember my friends got it, but I always felt like they just expected it, even if they never really deserved it.

My girls mark the chart that we have for the jobs done. There are no stickers, no happy faces or frown faces. Simply a check mark or an X. I also have them mark the chart, I won't. It is up to them to show that the jobs on the board are done. They know I will look and see if the work is done. Today, well today they missed the check mark, but that was until we got home and I walked in with them. They realized when I made a comment about Toy Story 3 and how much fun I thought it would be to go see the movie. I watched two little bodies start to move around and Barbies and books and socks started to disappear.

I can't say my method will work for anyone else. What I do know if that we as parents have to teach our children to be responsible and also to clean up after themselves and have pride in what they have accomplished. There are amazing rewards that can be had, even if it is simply accomplishment of a job well done! I don't bribe my children, I just try and give them a motivation. Sometimes even just going out and playing with them (not saying I wouldn't anyway) or reading a really good book is encouragement enough. Getting out the soccer ball and playing in the back yard, or pushing them on the swing will help to motivate them into helping around the house and getting things done so everyone can go out and play and have FUN!

Doug