Grieving a Loss is not easy
Submitted by: Kenda

We all grieve in different ways and with different rituals.  My personal belief is that this is a part of life and that most aspects of death should be shared with our children. 

My children have had the unfortunate circumstances to be aquainted with death on a couple of occasions during their short lives.  But, just like all kids...they will deal with loss in their own way.  My hope for my children is that I can be a beacon of support for them in times of grief.  Most of us have rituals we follow. 

For me, it is the death of the loved one, then the next day is visitation at a funeral home where family and friends come to pay their respects. The following day is the funeral, and sometimes there is a graveside service. 

I have recently experienced a new loss...a close departure from our lives....my maternal grandmother.  This story is dedicated to her.  God Bless you MawMaw Nell.

She was an angel on earth.  She is one of the strongest women I know.  Her physical strength was uncomparable to her emotional and spiritual power.  She grew up in the Christian faith (United Methodist) and it brought her a focus that I have not yet realized.  I remember sitting in church and I would be talking and out of no where...a thump..on my shoulder and a look that stood for..." Be quiet, listen to the message"   And the Sunday lunches at her home...wow..she could cook wonderfully.  The best homemade chicken soup!

She had many brothers and sisters and had a large family of her own.  She has, was and always will be a beacon of light, of patience, and of wisdom.  She would work 8 hours in a sewing factory, come home to a house full of kids and a husband and complete her chores. 

I have seen her work in the garden every summer...dutifully growing a bountiful harvest for all of us to share.  Her green thumb was amazing.  She could touch a wilting plant and know what it needed....next time you saw the plant...new sprouts of leaves or flowers..amazing.  There was always acknowledgement for the wonders of life and it showed in her eyes.  She thanked God everyday for everything and always knew what to say when it mattered.

She taught us to cook, to sew, to love, and to pray. 

My baby sister is getting married soon.  My mom and I are making the bridesmaids dresses for the wedding.  As we sat sewing them together....we thought of MawMaw Nell...as we made each stitch or turned the fabric a certain way...her lessons of life became clear to us...and we cried..and remembered..and realized....she was there with us..sewing those gowns with a wisdom that I am now striving to never forget.

When she was so sick and near the end, I told my children this news. They asked questions and I answered to the best of my ability.  When she passed away...my kids....knew their place.  They knew that they would get to see her and tell her goodbye at the funeral home. Even in times of distress our kids will surprise us. 

My two girls remembered how MawMaw loved flowers, esp. roses, and for reasons only God knows..our rose bushes behind our home had bloomed again, just days before she passed away.  "Those little jewels" (as she called all her children) picked the perfect blooms and took them and placed them at her shoulder in the casket.  At the funeral...all the ladies and girls of the family (the ones that wished to participate) wore a piece of her jewelry in remembrance and respect  for all her sacrifices and for all the love she showed each of us.

Don't ever hide death from your little ones. They have to know how to handle the circumstances that go with that type of loss.  My kiddos were great. Thoughtful, loving and reverent for the moment.  Even in grief...our children are our greatest accomplishement and they will amaze us as they grow in our footsteps.

For you MawMaw....Mary Nell Williamson...I pray and promise I will continue to carry on in what you have begun.

Your loving grand daughter,

Kenda