Well....I make lemon pie. Lemonade is just too simple. Not enough effort goes into it.

Divorce is very tough! We all know this. And for those of us who experienced it as a child.........there aren't enough words. So I feel that this topic is like lemon pie. It takes understanding of the recipe. Devotion of time that will be needed and the determination to make that meringue fluff just right on top. It has to be perfect and sooo tasty.

Yet, despite our best efforts..there will be flaws. The mixture of tartness and sweetness may not be just right, the crust may be crumbly and/or the meringue just didn't fluff up or even worse yet...the meringue was burnt to a crisp in the oven while you attempted to get that perfect light browning. No matter how hard we try to accomplish this somewhat easy task there will always be a flaw. That is divorce.

All that is ever asked of you is effort and love. I have learned through two very difficult experiences. One was the separation/divorce of my parents and the second was the loss of my husband and marriage. I remembered how I felt when my parents "did the deed". It was horrible. The feelings of frustration and disappointment were tremendous. Yet, you must know that I was a teenager and very aware of what was happening. You even feel as though you could have done something about it. Maybe even prevent it. I swore that my kids would never have to feel those feelings or think those thoughts. No matter how well you try, sometimes you can not stop some events from taking place. Do remember that children are extremely resilient. Mine are young and they have adjusted well. But it was not an easy transition.

It will take compromise, long hours trying over and over. Movie fests with popcorn and hugs for six hours straight. Hot chocolate and coloring books. Take the time to find something special that only you and your children have. My kids and I have a special kiss that is only ours. Something as simple as an Eskimo kiss that ends with our foreheads touching and us looking in each others eyes and the words "I love you". Never forget to tell them! If you feel overwhelmed, never feel embarrassed about asking for help with the recipe. Everyone needs help sometimes.

Again....lemon pie....It has taken lots of reassurance, lots of patience, lots of prayers (with and without your children present), lots of hugs, an immeasurable amount of "No matter what you may hear or do, remember, I love you!" For me, it also took my friends, my family , my church family and friends, my job, and most of all....forgiveness. Yes...I know that that word can cut just like a knife. But, for me..I couldn't get my pie just right until I had forgiven my ex husband. It was the hardest thing I had ever done. Forgive. What was done, is done. There is no changing it. I have two perfect little ones to care for. Out of all the failed attempts at that perfect pie..I got two wonderful little sample bites. If you could ever achieve that peace within yourself that is forgiveness, you would be surprised at how quickly your pie comes together and tastes so nice.