My Ex-wife.

My Ex-wife has moved away, but has since moved back to Alaska with her new husband. Great. Custody has changed from 70% for me because the children were still with me, to 50%, because of her return. Great.

She has announced that she is pregnant, but looses the baby. She announces again that she is once again, pregnant. Sorry and great.

February 26, 2010.

The phone rings at somewhere around 5:00am. She is calling because she will be dropping our children off so that she and he can go and have their baby. We had discussed this. She now lives only 3 blocks from my home. Great. They arrive at 6am. At 7:30ish am, the baby is born. It is a girl of around 8 Lbs.

She is still at the Midwifery for quite a while and then goes to the hospital to see the pediatrician. Not long after that, the Pediatrician admits the baby to the NICU. A few hours after that, I am informed that my ex and husband and baby will be flying to Portland, Oregon.

The baby has a heart problem and surgery is necessary in order for her to survive. One day old if that, and a little girl has to have open heart surgery.

I have dropped off my youngest to meet her mother at the hospital, and can see that she is a complete wreck! And I don't hold any of that against her. She is so visibly upset and I can see that her new world has been completely turned upside down. Her tears would not stop flowing, even though she was trying to be tough when she saw me.

I walked up to her and opened my arms and told her to come to me and she did. I told her how very sorry I was for all that was happening, and she thanked me and cried a bit more.

I rubbed and patted her back and she said thank you. I was the first, besides her husband to console her and tell her how sorry I was, and I am her Ex-husband.

She flew out the next morning, very early on a life flight with the baby girl, her name is Jennifer, to prep for surgery. She communicated with me, what was happening and when it would happen.

The baby girl has now come out of surgery and is doing well as far as anyone can tell.

There is a point to the whole story and that is: It isn't always about you. It is about everyone around you. Your children, family, your Ex and also about a little baby.

Parents may not always get along and in cases, divorce. However, when there is an emergency that involves your children or the potential danger to someone, you should look past anger from the past and look to protect and provide. It is being a good person and we all know that if something were to happen to us, we would like to know that, feelings aside, our children will be taken care of, and maybe even ourselves.

I know that's how I felt, so that is what I did. She had enough on her plate and didn't need more, like trying to figure out where the children could go and who would watch them.

These are all things to consider in the large pool of life and how each of us reacts to divorce and difficulties in life. I just know that I did the right thing for everyone involved and that makes me feel good and to know that I am a good person.

She may be my Ex-wife, but she needed my help and support. She didn't ask for it in so many words, but she didn't need to. I could have turned the other cheek, but I didn't.

After all, we are talking about a child.

Doug